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And poets need no laurels. Why be lauded for the love of trying to nail the disembodied image with that one plain word to make it palpable; for listening in to silence for the rhythm capable of carrying the thought that's not thought yet? The pursuit's its own reward. So you have to let the poem come to voice by footering late in the dark at home, by muttering syllables of scribbled lines -- or what might be lines, eventually, if you can get it right.
And this, perhaps, in public? The daytime train, the biro, the back of an envelope, and again the fun of the wildgoose chase that goes beyond all this fuss.
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Bell rings, penny drops, the light-bulb goes on and tops the not-good-enough idea that went before? No, that's not how it goes. You write, you score it out, you write it in again the same but somehow with a different stress. This is a game you very seldom win and most of your efforts end up in the bin.
There's one hunched and gloomy heron haunts that nearby stretch of River Kelvin and it wouldn't if there were no fish. If it never in all that greyness passing caught a flash, a gleam of something, made that quick stab. That's how a poem is after a long nothingness, you grab at that anything and this is food to you. It comes through, as leaves do. All praise to poetry, the way it has of attaching itself to a familiar phrase in a new way, insisting it be heard and seen. Poets need no laurels, surely?
Ormolu and gilt, slipper satin, lush velvet couches, cushions so stiff you can't sink in. Tables polished clear enough to see distortions in.
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We take our shoes off at her door, shuffle stocking-soled, tiptoe — the parquet floor is beautiful and its surface must be protected. Silver sugar-tongs and silver salver, my rival serves us tea. She glosses over him and me. I am all edges, a surface, a shell and yet my rival thinks she means me well. But what squirms beneath her surface I can tell. Soon, my rival capped tooth, polished nail will fight, fight foul for her survival.
Deferential, daughterly, I sip and thank her nicely for each bitter cup. And I have much to thank her for. This son she bore — first blood to her — never, never can escape scot free the sour potluck of family.
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Lady of the house. Queen bee. She is far more unconscious, far more dangerous than me. Listen, I was always my own worst enemy.
She has taken even this from me. She dishes up her dreams for breakfast.
Dinner, and her salt tears pepper our soup.